I had a such a dream about my Dad last night…

I was in this terrible dream where I had never quit working at the Bank. And now at the age of 54 was beginning to forget stuff, and couldn’t remember the computer systems or what to do with it. I worked with young people just out of college and high school who had no patience and I knew I was about to be fired for incompetence. In the next part of the dream I went to the company assembly (just like high school, dreams only seem to make perfect sense while you’re in them), while there I made some comments that made fellow audience members laugh and I thought maybe that’s what I could do for a living…I’m good at making people laugh. And then a new young Mom (the Dad worked at the bank and was introducing her and their son in a stroller) went center stage next to the stroller and I chuckled first because the baby was being so crabby and made a comment about baby boys and this so hurt her feeling that she raced up the aisle to the restrooms. Well I went in there and apologised to all the closed stall doors and felt like such a schmuck that I had said something that she misunderstood and hurt her so badly. Such a schmuck I was. Then returned to my office cubbyhole and desk to clear out my stuff when I realized that my co-worker had already taken over my desk with her thousands of pairs of shoes and I wanted so badly to toss them out but couldn’t bring myself to do it. ( What is it with me and shoes?) And I was so eternally sad at being let go when suddenly there was a tap on my shoulder and my Dad peeked around my shoulder with his ruddy face and big smile and his old police uniform shirt with the blue and yellow badges sewn on the side. 

He hugged me tight for the longest time, and told me every little thing was going to be alright. I could even catch that familiar scent of him.  And then I knew (even though he passed years ago ) that he was really there and everything really was going to O.K. and I woke up still seeing him in my heart and mind and still catching that scent that was Dad. Just the very thought of him still soothes me.

P.S. Thank God, I quit that rotten job in 1988.  Maybe that dream was a view of life as it could have been…Man, am I lucky or WHAT! A Dad like him and the common sense to bug out of a bad job as soon as I could…

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3 responses to “I had a such a dream about my Dad last night…

  1. Well if that is not the map of Ireland I don’t know what is….the thing I remember about your dad is the twinkle in that eye….an Irishman thru and thru.

  2. I immediately thought the shoes were your bequest, representing all of the times that you would have liked to walk away from that crappy job. Really nice article, Sheila. I wish I could remember more about dreams.

  3. All these things that you feared – spending your life in the wrong job, not being good enough, hurting someone unintentionally – what a dream this must have been. Dad’s really do chase away the scary things. And he was right. None of the scariest things happened. And you lived, you made it your happily ever after. You did not lose yourself to an unhappy job, you did not fail to measure up, and you have not hurt anyone. Quite the opposite. My mom, who writes what she loves, amazes us all, and is constantly raising people up with her as she goes on about her wondrous ways. I do so love you, Ma.

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