Why can’t my husband find anything? Do I really have X-Ray vision ?!!

I awake from my book reading trance with a start. A phone call…I forgot to make an important phone call to a friend on a time sensitive matter. So I started to hunt up the huge puce green personal phonebook I’d concocted from all our old tiny phone books and all the Christmas card address information over the last holidays. This newly revised version of our family and friends phone numbers and new addresses now resides in a huge Puce Green hard to lose three-ring binder, a concession to my aging eyes and inability to find things I immediately need. No little black books for this girl.

   So I ask my dearly Beloved if he had seen this huge green creature lurking around the house as I needed my buddy’s phone number. My husband was reading the paper at the kitchen table and looked around and said, “No, I don’t see it anywhere.”

   I happened to glance his way when he said this and realized it was right ( literally) in front of him. I said, “It’s right in front of you.” He said, “Oh yeah, but I couldn’t see it because the napkin holder was in the way.”

   Then I thought about Mens Eyes and Womens Eyes and the difference. Why do women practice X-Ray vision and men just scan? Because women know they are the “Court of the last resort” . If your Mom, wife, girlfriend can’t find the thing you’re searching for, it isn’t there. Ergo we are much more thorough in our physical search and seizure than men are. Young girl with glasses

   So I said to my husband, “You look for things with “Mens eyes”. And at that point he told me how beautiful my eyes were. I was well aware right then how I looked, every wrinkle, frazzle  and put upon look , right down to those sweaty mean little crow’s-feet around my eyes.

So I blessed him and his poor eyesight and will love him always. At this rate I can live with his poor eyesight, because he doesn’t find many things…mostly my massive flaws that are consistently front and center.

And he hasn’t tripped over my soap box yet.  So this one’s a Keeper…men’s eyes and all.

Photographs courtesy of www.clevelandmemory.org Cleveland State University Michael Schwartz Press Collection. 

p.s. I haven’t looked like this since maybe 1974…o.k.  maybe even then It was not quite this good but between his eyesight and my memory we’re letting this one slide….

3 responses to “Why can’t my husband find anything? Do I really have X-Ray vision ?!!

  1. I adore this one, Ma. It is so true. Shawn never sees the flaws. “My feet are funny-shaped,” I tell him. He looks, but doesn’t seem to comprehend. “I have a scar on my knee,” I tell him. He says, “Oh… I can’t see it unless you point at it.” So I point right at it, but I know he’ll never notice it on his own. It’s comforting in its way.

  2. Haha it’s so true! My mother calls it MBS – Male Blindness Syndrome.

    • Dear Talia,
      M.B.S. , that’s hysterical. With your kind permission I’ll start using it!


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