Susan’s instruction on Laundry…

Mom,

I will only explain this once more;

The operative part of the word “washer” is wash. Washing is not an intriguing or adventurous task. It’s something that requires one to roam this three-story home in search of clothing, to carry the load down into an old-fashioned,shadowy, damp, underground room which is littered with incompleted projects and dirty clothes, tends to be inhabited by large miscellaneous insects and is occasionally flooded. There is nothing more distressing than reaching for an article of clothing on such a floor, only to discover it moves much faster than you do. After gathering enough clothing to actually fill the washer ( because cleaning only one thing is a waste of water and time ) the search for detergent begins. After chiseling the correct amount of soap from the box and turning the appliance on, most people have experienced this basement enough to know that they shouldn’t walk , but run. Mission completed, it’s off to bed. Of course, by the time you’re conscious again, it’s already too late. As you stand before the washer, both shocked and forlorn, you find that the clothing, so painstakingly cleaned, have met their fate in a puddle on the floor. I don’t think you understand the trauma Mom. You couldn’t know how it feels because it’s never happened to you. But someday, you must tell me what it’s like to reach into a load of fresh, watery clothes and instead of helping on their voyage to cleanliness, you carelessly toss them into a pile on the floor. They are left there like a trophy of your evil-doing, while in the morning their owners are left to mourn the loss. This tragedy continues to grow in frequency as nearby a mystery also thrives. How is it that when so few clothes reach their goal of being dried by a machine instead of a drafty basement there remain at least twelve static-removing dryer sheets in the dryer at all times? It’s a question that boggles the mind. But worry not, as said by the Bible; “They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength…”(Isaiah 40;31) So pick up dripping laundry and carry on, for the goal of dryness is literally only inches away. It’s thoughts like these that provide the persistence needed to carry the same shirts, shorts, and towels to the washer three times in a row. Now with these encouraging words in mind, I leave you with some wise advice that was passed on to me at an outrageously early age.

Step 1# Finding the Clothes

Walk through rooms and wander the basement. The clothes are usually restricted to the floor under the strict laws of gravity, so keep your eyes down. When you have found enough for one entire load go to step two.  – Hint; Collect either all whites, all colors, and be careful – because like broken hearts, clothes do bleed.

Step 2 # Finding the Washer

On the far wall of the basement are two large, white, metal boxes. If you face them, the one on the RIGHT is the washer* (refer to end of pages). Place the clothes into the washer. It opens on the top and the clothes do not need to be put inside in any particular order. Find the detergent and measure out the right amount indicated on the detergent box. -Hint; If no detergent is present, use some shampoo or dish soap. Avoid bar soap No matter how good (flowery, lemony) the soap smells, DO NOT TASTE IT.

Now close the lid and push the dial in turn the dial to either “medium” or “large’ to indicate size of load. Close the detergent and exit the basement, preferably the same way you entered it.

Step 3# Transporting Clothes

When the washer has stopped for more than 30 seconds remove the clothes by reopening the lid. They will be fresh and watery and you will be tempted to drop them on the floor. Don’t. The clothes won’t say this so you’ll have to take my word for it. Place the clothes into the dryer. Close the dryer door (it’s in front). Clean the lint trap by pulling it out from the top of the machine. The soft stuff clinging to the screen is the lint. Peel the lint off and replace the screen trap. Throw the lint away. The lint may look colorful and feel soft, but don’t keep it, for there will be more. I’m sure that the dryer has at least a roll or two of static sheets , so don’t add any. Turn the dial to a time that you know will sufficiently dry the clothes. Push the start button. You’re doing well. – Hint; The dryer may seem nice and warm, but if cold turn up the heat. Turning the dryer on won’t work. Use the thermostat to warm the house. Don’t put anything alive in the dryer to get warm, the dryer is for clothes only.

Step 4# Handing the Clothes/Folding

Remove the clothes from the dryer. Use the plastic hanger to hold the dry clothes in the air. This keeps them from wrinkling. Use the hangers hooks to suspend them on a bar or  fold the clothes neatly. -Hint; Folding clothes isn’t like folding paper. Remember- this isn’t a situation like paper, you don’t need scissors.

*Washer- (wash’er, wo’sher)n. 1. One that washes, esp. a machine for washing. 2. A small disk, as of metal, placed under a nut or at an axle bearing to relieve friction, prevent leakage, or distribute pressure. aka washing machine. Source The American Heritage Dictionary Published by Dell

sincerely,   Your Children

P.S. I love you. 

***A note from my Sue when she was 13…she nailed it to the basement door…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s