Why am I not surprised to find Erma Bombeck was born in February? Sweethearts to a man (or woman) All my favorite people were all born about this time of year…they’re all “Pisces” babies…Erma, Kate, Cas and Susan…there’s something magical about those Pisces…they see laughter and hope all around them. The air fairly sparkles with “might-be’s”… this might be, that might be, and always with a small smile, or quip that leaves you in stitches. They can relax more people with laughter and one raised quizzical eyebrow than all the Xanax in the world. God love ’em. Valentines all around for these cute souls.
I’ve looked up a few quotes by Erma Bombeck to leave you chuckling…
“I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.”
“I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms; “Checkout Time is 18 years”
“My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.”
She said; ‘If Mary had lived on our block we would have said, ” Of course she has time to go to the Dentist, she only has Jesus!”
“Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked Human Anatomy.”
“A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend, and he’s a priest.”
“Seize the moment, think of all the women on the ‘Titanic’ that waved off the dessert cart.”
“Housework if done right, can kill you.”
“Children make your life important.”
“Success, is outliving your failures.”
“If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.”
“Guilt; The gift the keeps on giving.”
“Families, the ties that bind and gag.”
On her childhood- “I was insanely busy going to school and being a servant to everyone else.”
On being a housewife; “You become about as exciting as the blender, the kids come in look you in the eye and ask if anybody’s home?”
During a Commencement speech she stated, “Most of you are going to be ordinary…you are not going to the Moon. You’ll be lucky to find the keys to your car in the back parking lot. But some of you are to be great things to yourselves. You are going to be the best friend someone ever had…”
When asked, “What do you hope your column will accomplish?” She responded, “Make ’em laugh!”
In her March 10, 1987 column, she stated, “I always had a dream that when I am asked to give an accounting of my life to a higher court, it will go like this; “So, empty your pockets. What have you got left of your life? Any dreams unfufilled? Any unused talent that we gave you when you were born that you still have left ? Any unsaid compliments or bits of love that you haven’t spread around? And I will answer, “I’ve nothing left to return. I spent everything you gave me. I’m naked as the day I was born.”
What grace. What a soul, and how blessed are we to be able to still find her light shining through these years. You just have to look for it.
I think about Erma… and I think even God deserves a laugh now and then. And with Erma around, the heavens themselves will be tickled pink.
Bravo Pisces Babies Everywhere!!!!
Photo courtesy of The Michael Schwartz Collection at Cleveland State University Library