On listening…really listening…

I’ve just found a piece on listening and in it the author mentions a lady who was in labor and the baby happened to be in the “breech” position. That’s where they are set to come out feet first. Not good. A tricky situation. Well the midwife advised her on how to encourage the baby to turn around. 1st she should put her feet up and 2nd have another child stand at her feet and talk to the baby, because a baby LISTENS from the inside and might turn around to hear.

So even before we’ve seen the sun or the moon or even our own mothers face we’re listening.

     It’s the same way at the other end of this journey…which makes listening our most profound sense if we continue to use it completely. Astonishing, the things you’ll hear if you just take the time to really listen. Just be and let that other soul really tell you whatever they need to. I can remember when my Mom died, they called me to the hospital shortly after she passed away and I leaned over that tiny amazing woman and kissed her and told her softly that I love her. And I know she heard me and I know I had to take that last chance to tell her. That’s all I really needed to do, just tell her, and to this day I know she heard me.

     Earlier that evening as I had driven to work I noticed there was a full moon hanging in the sky . I was working nights in Bank Operations and I had driven in at 10;30pm and looked up and saw that moon, and I knew she would be leaving that night. But I had missed so much time at work I felt I had to go to work…I was just being silly…but then I got there and couldn’t settle down and finally left about 3 am and drove through those deserted downtown streets back to the Hospital where she sat up in her little Indian position with her little legs crossed, it was the only way she was comfortable in the end and my two sisters Anne and Therese were with her that night and I came into the room and we talked and they went for coffee and I sat by the side of the bed and took a little of the blanket and wrapped it around her little  foot trying to hold onto her. She always had her feet out from under the blanket, she liked them cool, and this little bit of irritation was what I hoped to hold her to this life with long enough to tell her how I loved her. Then the girls came back and we talked a little more and finally I went home and lay on the couch and fell asleep and then the call came about 6;30 am that she had died and to come to the hospital and say goodbye. So tender, I had never realized just how my brother and sisters loved her so. They each in turn held her so tender, and and whispered in her ear the last things a child wants to tell their Mom. Then we said our Hail Mary and the our Father. 

     There’s never enough time but that room was filled with love. It had taken me a long time to go and visit her in the hospital towards the end. I think I was afraid to go, that if I did… it really would be the last time. She had always beat it before,  and she always came home before and then I would resume seeing her during the day. When everybody else was off at work, Thank God for my Dad, I think he realized just how afraid I was even before I did. We sat at the end of her bed on one of those last nights and he explained that it really was going to be O.K., She was going to be with her favorite person ever, her Dad.

 Well, her Dad had passed away before I was born so I never knew him or  just how much she had loved him. But Daddy said yes, he’d never seen her so upset as she had been by her Dad’s passing and how it was hard for him to let her go but she would be O.K.  because she would be with her Poppy.

So this listening can come in really handy when you really need to know things are going to be ok. Talk to someone you love and LISTEN to them.

Stop all that useless buzzing in your head about things you have to do and places you have to go  and really just for a moment listen…both to your own world and others around you.  Be truly present by being truly silent and LISTENING. It’s the only way to learn ANYTHING.

3 responses to “On listening…really listening…

  1. I found you clicking about. Wonderful. Recipes too! Thank you for writing this.

  2. Mom, this is amazing. So well written. I didn’t know all of this, and I’m glad I do now. That Grandpa, what a smart man. And you are such a smart lady.

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