Father Nose Best II…

   Our own “Wednesday Addams”, Therese Collette, read that piece I posted “Father nose best”. She told Kate that Dad would occasionally ask her for help also, but this usually happened after a night on the town with her buddies. He would call up to Therese’s attic aerie and ask her to go shopping with him. Well after being out late the night before and perhaps pushing the envelope on the number of drinks that tiny body could handle…she felt downright guilty. “Sure” she said to Dad, I’ll be right down. She pull on a pair of her jeans grab a top, stop into the bathroom for a quick brush of both teeth and hair and out the door with Dad she’d go. Being a good daughter, ever ready to tote that barge lift that bale, to help her Dad. Never realizing as she leaned her hot aching head onto the cool glass of the car window that Dad had some plans for her.

    Next stop, Cleveland’s West Side Market. First he’d park in the north forty portion of the parking lot so you’d have to walk forever just to get to the outside vendors. The West Side Market was (and still is) like a walk through some crazed middle eastern Bazaar (make that Bizzaro). With a center aisle about 3 feet wide and at least 7 people trying to pass each other at the same time. All while being crushed in a moving crowd with the Fruit and Vegetable Stands Vendors screaming out what they have for sale and how theirs is delicious, juicy, fresh any adjective that will move that produce. So from both sides of the aisle she has people screaming out at her and shoving fruit and vegtables at her and all the while Dad is buying up a storm. Loading up his hung over pack mule Therese with 5 lbs. of fresh stinky peaches, 10 fresh green peppers, 1/2 dozen nice fresh tomatoes, 2 or 3 lovely bunches of bananas and apples and celery and on and on and on till you can barely move forward, then it’s inside you go. Into the big building that houses what seems like 200 stands. Stands for Meats, Stands for Cheeses, Stands for Bakery, Stands with spicy imported smells that are about the last thing a hungover stomach can tolerate. But the last straw. The dead piglet stand…you’ll be slogging behind Dad, thinking, he has to be getting tired when he stops dead in his tracks and says “Just look at that!”. You, for sure, are at the dead piglet stand. Eyes forward, don’t look or you’ll regret it! It must be the boy in him, but every time! The damn dead little piggies!  Next stop, probably his friend the Butcher. Where he will buy about 10 pounds of really spicy beef jerky. Then off to his favorite cheese stand to pick up his favorite, pimento cream cheese, all the while each of the stand owners offer Dad samples of their goods and he in turn offers them to Therese who by now is a striking shade of green and gray and has sworn off drinking forever. Adventures with Dad, it took a big girl, but in the end made a fine woman.

One response to “Father Nose Best II…

  1. Clever, funny, and a great last line here.

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