“From Here to Eternity” a hilarious collection of Obits…

   That rascally sister of mine ” Mortal Sin Mary”,  as  J.T. calls her is just a hoot. In one of her previous incarcerations in “County Employment” she found herself stuck behind a desk listening to just about every sad and woebegone story out there. The County in it’s wisdom had converted an old Supermarket into welfare offices. Now poor people could come wait in line and just try to remember where the steaks and Ice Cream used to be. 

      This Welfare site was a giant old box,  where the poor and the tired and the crazy came to for help and assistance with their problems. The workforce was basically working Moms’  one step away from Public Assistance themselves.  This makes for a somewhat tough crowd. But one that could really appreciate a laugh. Well these girls kept a large oversize scrapbook filled with their best, brightest and funniest obituaries they had ever heard of. Talk about “black humor”,  this is a crowd that regularly calls the Obituary page the “Irish Sports Page”. The first thing you read in the morning so as to put a proper  spin on the day. At least YOU”RE still alive. Parts of this collection are priceless. The Greatest Hits, as it were. Well Mary’s stories about these obit’s had us in stitches. One day we even found out that my other sister’s former Mother-in-Law had been nominated on appearance alone. A stunning accomplishment! And believe me…she was a stunner. 

    I thought perhaps there would be something out there on the net. Bingo.

Marilyn Johnson has a terrific book, “The Dead Beat”. Truly funny. The title tells is all, The Dead Beat, lost souls, lucky stiffs a perverse pleasures of obituary reading.  For an excerpt go to www.marilynjohnson.net . Good reading, great laughing.

And God forbid, you have to write a obit or eulogy here’s a great source. www.howtowriteanobituary.comanother book but also some helpful hints on setting up the generic to look customized. Must be the Irish in me…Generic vs Customized Eulogies…what a concept! It  must depend on what type of person has passed….laughing too hard… must lie  down…

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