I love to write. To come up with stories about ways to achieve my ends without doing time. I should have realized that as I lay there as a six year old trying to figure out a way to do my brother in where no one would trace it back to me, that I have the soul of either a Murderer or a Writer. Here’s hoping its a Writer. At least for my brother’s sake. He’s now a proud Grandpa and a very lucky husband so as you can see I let him live. I wasn’t as organized at six. But now I have all the time in the world and I love to plan the overview, just the details are difficult.
O.K., here’s the premise…there are two little old ladies (like “Arsenic and Old Lace”) who want to rid the world of the bad guys that have escaped because of a technicality. But they’re GUILTY. It’s been proven in a Court of Law. Now, I came up with the scenario of these little dolls dropping a pill (similar to size and color of saccharine) into the Baddie’s drink or sprinkling it crushed on their food. Now I needed a little excellent advice says I. So I moseyed over to the local Walmart because I had a prescription due. Well, I thought let’s “kill two birds with one stone” and I asked to speak to the Pharmacist. Lovely man, but I didn’t recognize him. My usual Pharmacist is a young man named Dale, who is used to my odd requests now and then although I’ve never asked him how to kill either…Anyway, the Pharmacist comes over and I explain that I’m a regular customer at this location and also a writer and could he answer a detailed pharmaceutical question for me? Sure he says, I’ll give it a try.
So I asked him. “If you were a little old lady what wanted to kill a guy, like with a saccharine size tablet that wouldn’t take effect for say …twelve hours, but was irreversible, what would you use? ” The poor man, his eyebrows fair to flew off his face. He backed quietly and quickly away from the counter saying…Ahem…We’re in the business of keeping people alive here…not killing them. That when I realized perhaps in his line of work and the Economy being what it is he must hear that question a lot. But really, now I have to spend God knows how long finding this out. I still think it’s a great premise for a series of short stories called “The Silver Foxes”. But from now on I’ll do that research on my own…I’ll stop scaring the “Professionals”.